Dating in 2021.

To say the events of 2020 were eventful would be an understatement. What occurred no one could predict, unless you count the writers of the movie Contagion which did predict many of the things and terminology which we are all too familiar with now; R number, social distancing, quarantines, and isolation. Isolation has probably been the hardest part for most people, social interaction is an integral element which defines our species. While some species (and some people) are content spending the majority of their lives void of contact with others, most people require, even crave social contact with friends, family and romantic or intimate partners. Early on in the pandemic in the UK government ministers told people to make the tough decision to decide if they wanted to stick with, or ‘bubble’ with their current boyfriend or girlfriend for the foreseeable future – people had to make the hard choice early on – ride out the pandemic with one person or break up and spend the next six to nine months single and try their luck with online dating and video and Skype/Zoom dates.

Those who chose the latter were to enter a both familiar and not-so-familiar sphere of online dating; anyone who has been single in the past ten years will be fully aware that entering the dating game post 2010 requires a degree of technological aptitude, Tinder, Match.com, POF, Grindr, Bumble are the go-to Apps and websites for anyone looking for love, romance or just a casual hookup in the 2010s. But during an unprecedented global pandemic moving the online conversation from some casual online banter to mustering up the courage to asking your online match if they want to go for a coffee entails a whole host of new questions like ‘is this even allowed?’

While some people threw caution to the wind and just went out and hooked up, as one man in France who broke lockdown rules and exclaimed “I’m fed up with my wife, I must absolutely go and see my mistress”, most people stayed at home and followed the rules.

But how do you satisfy a need for romantic and sexual relationships when contact with strangers is prohibited by law and even sometimes punishable with incarceration? Until things improve most people are going to be resigned to using and collected matches on dating sites and Apps and then enjoying a tsunami of one-night stands and hook-ups.

Until you receive a vaccine your Tinder matches will probably remain just that, racking up like unopened emails or Christmas present under the tree that you’re not allowed to open – frustrating. And by the time that you can it might be too late, they might have decided to get back with their ex or already found a new partner, the best thing to do is stay active on your favourite dating sites and Apps and be ready to meetup for a hookup as soon as your phone pings with a notification.

In the early days of the pandemic there were quite a few news stories of people having video dates or even video dinner dates, cooking and eating the same meal together in their respective homes over Zoom or Skype. We assume the age-old dating dilemma of ‘should I or shouldn’t I sleep with someone on the first date’ was, unfortunately, never an issue.

Then again, they may have decided, after a few drinks to clear away the plates and wine glasses and have a little private 1-2-1 video sex chat, but we’ll never know as most people didn’t feel comfortable sharing that level of detail in an article which their friends and family might read!

However, going without flirting or the releasing of months of pent-up sexual energy just won’t cut it for some people. Thankfully, technological advances have made remote dating and long-distance relationships far more intimate than in the good ol’ days of MSN chatrooms. With improved internet speeds and HD cameras in many modern devices, video chats and facetime calls can make it almost feel like the person you are chatting to is in the same room as you – which can be a lot of fun when the conversation starts to get a bit more racy.

For the foreseeable future physical dating will probably be restricted to monogamous relationships (boring, we know), and bed-hopping will be something that we can only reminisce about. Physical sexual relationships might be off the cards for a while, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy virtual sexual dating, and it is by far the safest sex you will ever have; no one ever caught an STI over webcam!

Dating sites have come a long way since they first emerged in the early 90s catering for cisgender relationships between mostly Western men and women, no matter who you are, how you self-identify or what kind of person you’re seeking or type of relationship, there is a dating App or site that will help you attain the connection you are looking for. Undoubtedly the challenges created by the pandemic when it comes to dating will be solved one way or another. Just like dating sites for people who have sexually transmitted diseases, could we expect to see coronavirus dating sites where you have to declare your status? Or even the creation of immune passes or bracelets like in the 2020 movie Songbird and only those in possession of such passes are allowed to hookup with strangers? Only time will tell.

This year has gotten off to a bumpy, but promising start and the outlook is definitely looking up, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and we are back on track to the days where meeting someone online in the morning and ending up in their bed in the evening are getting closer.

You will probably, for the next few months, have to make do with non-physical dates over the phone, Zoom, Skype, or Facetime until you can enjoy the sensation of naked skin-on-skin contact again. Or you could just spend your time in lockdown ‘lining them up’ and then ‘knock ‘em down’ in the summer!

You better make your choices now, because when the lockdown rules are relaxed there are going to be a lot of very thirsty boys and girls out there and you don’t want to miss out on the party, do you?