The Art of Seduction: How to Increase Your Likability With This Science-Backed Tip.

Everyone wants to seduce, or to be seduced, at some point. For some, the ability to seduce another comes naturally, and is as effortless and intuitive as breathing. For others, the art of seduction is learned, often through trial and error.

When boiled down, seduction occurs at the intersection of emotion, intellect, and intuition—where every sense is met positively. For some, seduction can begin simply with a smile, or a look. For others, seduction is much more intellectual, and is achieved through the spirited back and forth of thoughtful discussion and verbal connection.

Given the multifaceted nature of seduction, success in this field cannot be stripped down to one simple strategy or script; it requires a deep understanding of the human psyche and an ability to adapt to the unique person you are attempting to seduce. You must be able to tap into the idiosyncratic desires, both conscious and unconscious, of the person you wish to seduce, and speak directly to those desires.

And, not only must you speak to those desires, but you must do so while coming from a place of authenticity, rather than putting on a pretty mask merely to get your chosen outcome. While you may be able to achieve a thin veneer of seduction by simply deceiving the person on the receiving end, this will be short-lived and hollow. You must find a way to truly connect with the person on the other end of your seduction efforts, or your efforts will be in vain.

For most, the best way to learn how to seduce, or to authentically connect with others, is through exposure. If you find yourself struggling with interpersonal skills or lacking charisma or seductive prowess, place yourself into situations where you have a high exposure to a wide array of different personalities and demographics. Don’t just limit yourself to the sex or gender you are attracted to, instead, try to learn the inner machinations of people from all walks of life.

This can best be achieved through jobs such as door-to-door sales or telephone sales, hospitality professions, or even making an effort to speak to people that you come across in your day-to-day life or online. Ask open questions, and focus on digging beyond the surface layers of social niceties to find yourself at the authentic core of that individual. Try questions such as “What made you choose this profession?”, “What’s your dream profession?”, or “If you could do anything, work-related or otherwise, for the next year, what would it be?”.

This sequence of questions begins at a relatively normal talking point, before eventually getting closer to the core of that person’s motivations and desires in life. Of course, don’t just ask these same questions to every person that you meet, but instead try to replicate the essence of asking deeper and deeper questions throughout conversation to try to understand the person you’re speaking to more thoroughly.

This approach is backed by a team of researchers at Harvard, who found in a 2017 study that asking questions increases your likability to others. In fact, they even explored this concept in a speed-dating environment, and those that asked a higher number of questions to their date were more likely to get a second date.

Now, if you want to practice your flirting, it’s best not to try this on every random person you encounter, as you may eventually encounter problems with unwanted verbal advances–particularly while you’re finding your feet in the art of seduction. So, to build up your expertise and reduce the likelihood of negative interactions, try environments such as speed dating, or even speaking with someone in an adult entertainment profession, such as a Queenstown escort. Seeing an escort will give you a safe and discreet environment where you can master the art of seduction, through intriguing questions and an openness to understand the person you’re speaking with, in an explicitly adult context.

By mastering the art of seduction, you not only will improve your abilities to communicate to people in your everyday life, increasing the positive feelings they have toward you and opening up new opportunities both recreationally and professionally, but you may also increase your ability to connect with the sex/gender you’re attracted to, and find a partner that you can connect with on a deeper level.